Adultery -- it's more than you think

Before starting, I'll concede this is probably an odd topic to consider writing about. What motivated me to research the idea and formulate a working definition came from three key places. The first was a divorce recovery group where I observed many people struggle with how best to understand the Bible's position on divorce. The second came from a colleague who was trying to help a friend understand the Bible's position on remarriage. Finally, because there may be a time when I'll consider remarriage, I wanted to get a clarification for my own purposes.

From a Biblical perspective, the idea of getting married again is not well addressed. However, the information in the scriptures details a limited scope of events in which remarriage is permitted. The background research and rationale for this is in a separate post. I mention it here not only because adultery is, from a biblical perspective, just cause for divorce, but also an event from which one can remarry and not sin.

In looking at what adultery is, it is essential to understand that we are commanded by God not to do it. In both accounts of the Ten Commandments, Exodus 20:14 and Deuteronomy 5:18, the same law is given: "You shall not commit adultery". The penalty for adultery set forth in Leviticus 20:10 is death. Given the severity of the penalty, it seems very important to understand exactly what one is not supposed to do. Continuing in that same passage in Leviticus 20:10-11, the scripture draws a unique contrast in sexual misconduct accompanying two events. In the first, a man has sexual relations outside of marriage with the wife of his neighbor and the Bible refers to the act as adultery. In this example, each of the participants is married to someone else. However, in the second event, a man sleeps with his father's wife, again outside of marriage. In the latter case he has dishonored his father, but the act is not called adultery although the penalty in each situation is the same - death. While the Bible differentiates between adultery and other similar acts of sexual misconducts, this passage fairly clearly defines what the sexual act of adultery is. Even in Nathaniel Hawthorne's classic, The Scarlet Letter, the view of adultery was framed in the very narrow scope of a physical act.

The Bible goes further though in addressing the topic of adultery. Jeremiah 3:8 cites a circumstance where God divorces Israel for her ‘adulteries’. In this case the 'adulteries' are collective term for various forms of idolatry practiced in Israel. This include the worship of stone carvings and wooden poles. These acts of idolatry are cited in numerous passages in the Old Testament often referred to in a general sense that the nation had done evil in the sight of God. As an aside here, it is implicit in this passage that adultery is a valid reason for divorce.

Then finally, in Matthew, adultery is taken beyond the physical boundaries of human activity and transferred to the heart. It quotes Jesus in chapter 5, (27)"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' (28) But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Clearly from this reading, there is no requirement to carry the lust of heart on to a physical act in order to violate the commandment.

In the final analysis adultery is arguably a broader definition that includes:

• A physical act between two people
• An emotional act of the heart (lust)
• The practice of idolatry against God

While this may define the scope of the act, the question that remains is what difference does it make to an individual. For many divorced people (and those contemplating divorce), the reasons permitted in the Bible for divorce are very constraining with adultery one of the few allowable reasons to vacate a marriage. People in marriages where the very narrow definition of adultery has not been violated can feel trapped between the desire to obey God's commandment and the need to live in a safe, loving environment. Idols abound within our culture (sports, gambling, drugs, alcohol, addictive behaviors) and at extreme levels, each can become an adulterous act. Because God hates divorce, He joined men and women together for once and always. It would seem reasonable then to expect there would not be an easy way to walk away from the commitment and this writing should not be misconstrued to endorse any form of adultery as an excuse for divorce. It is worth remembering that having the right to do something, does not carry with it the obligation to follow it through. But a full grasp as to the scope of adultery should provide some sense of comfort and understanding to those victimized by it.