Homeless Mats

Our life group took this on as a project.  As we began to work on the first first mat, several observations emerged.  First, it is a slow process that can be organized in an assembly line fashion.  Folding and smoothing takes quite a bit of time.  The time to make a ball of plarn (plastic yarn) 6 inches in diameter is about 2-3 hours.  Second, we discovered having our folks smooth bags at home to bring in and then taking strips home to assemble helped make our time cutting much more efficient. Finally, it is surprising how soft the fnished mat feels.  It is not a mattress, but then it was never designed to be.  Having worked through one complete mat, our expections have adjusted to what we can really accomplish and we're excited to be working on them.

The directions we started with follow, but there are several video examples on YouTube that explain the process thoroughly.

Materials
Plastic Bags (clean - grocery store type - need 500 - 700 per mat)
Scissors or rotary cutter
8 mm or size "P" crochet hook

Preparation
Place bag in a lengthwise position
Fold in half lengthwise, then fold in half again
Cut off the bottom seams and top handles
Cut the bags into 2-2.5 inch strips
Interweave the loops by placing one end through the other
Roll the strips into a ball

Crochet Directions
Using a size "P" crochet hook, make a chain 36 inches long
Make loops loose with space between each loop
Crochet one extra loop at the end of the chain for a turning point
Return to the 3rd loop to make row two
Continue until the mat is 6 feet long
Crochet from front to back to avoid puckering
A finished mat is 3 x 6 feet
For a tie, crochet 2 rows of single loops to make an 80 inch string
Connect the tie to the middle top, this allows the mat to be rolled up for transporting.

A great video is available at the following link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TGTX1ZpUzQ

........... To Friendship

Should you go first and I remain to walk the road alone,
I’ll live in memory's garden friend with happy days we’ve known.
In spring I’ll watch for roses red when fades the lilac blue,
In early fall when brown leaves call I’ll catch a glimpse of you.

Should you go first and I remain to finish with the scroll,
No darkened shallows shall creep in to make this life seem droll.
We’ve known so much of happiness; we’ve shared a cup of joy,
And memory is a gift from God death cannot destroy.

Should you go first and I remain for battles to be fought,
Each thing you’ve touched along the way will be a hallowed spot.
I’ll see your face, I’ll hear your voice and though blindly I may grope,
The memory of your helping hand will bore me on with hope.

Finally, friend should you go first, one thing I’d have you do,
Walk slowly down that long, long path for soon I’ll follow you.
I’ll want to know each step you take, that I may walk the same.
For someday down that long path, you’ll hear me call your name.

Adapted from lyrics recorded by the Cathedral Quarter “Beyond the Sunset”

Business Travel 102

There are enough blog entries about Travel 101. They all address the anectodal issues of delayed aircraft, bad food, poor service, etc, etc. I've done that and lived to regret the experience, but it has been a while. Today's experience refined the element of business travel I've long overlooked.

Admittedly, over the past several years, I've grown accumstomed to the lifestyle and culture of Louisiana. While I've traveled extensively through the state, it was an illuminating day to travel outside of the area where crawfish is a standard on the menu. Standing in the cooridor of the Atlanta airport, the cornucopic diveristy of life exploded across the spectrum of what we call life. It was almost too much to bear, gaping at the mini-skirts designed to gently embrace and accentuate frames of 100 pounds, groan at the task of constraining the 150+ pounds wrapped within. There is no delicate way to put this -- too much thigh, too little "why" -- my brain is purged, please don't do that again. Then, again, there was the kilt. For the life of me, I cannot understand what makes a man wear a skirt. Call it a kilt if you will, but really dude, you are wearing a jacket, a pleated skirt, and a crocs -- really?!? -- it's a kilt. Okay, fine, if you say so, but trust me, I'm not putting on my skin. I have enough problems with gossip just being single. Okay, then there was the group I can't even being to classify -- a sundress with black suede 4-inch heels (really?); the jacket, t-shirt, and suede boots combo (sorry, too slow with the camera -beyond belief), or perhaps it was the bulemia twins - dressed alike in an embrace of death that will end soon, but in heels and leather. Dudes, really, go buy some decent clothes.

Some basic rules in the airport:
Muscle shirt = redneck
Mullet = redneck
Tatoo/mullett = redneck
Tatoo/mullett/muscle shirt = Maybe she wants you -- i'm really out of my element and can't help you . We're are on different wavelengths -- good luck to you, but in all likelihood = redneck.

Having said all that, I'm drawn back the fact that God created each of us and longs to have a realtionship with us. What's holding you back? This stuff? Hey, God created "you" and if nothing else mattered, that would be reason enough to love Him back.

Third Day

Admittedly, it was the first rock concert I'd attended since sometime in the early 1980s, so, my expectations were somewhat ambiguous about the event at best. Moreover, it was the first Christian rock concert I'd ever attended. Not that my musical taste don't span an eclectic array of offerings, it is just that the opportunity had really never presented itself to attend this type of concert. However, a dear friend offered up the ticket, I was available, the concert was close, and I knew the promoter - seemed as if destiny had a hand in things. The only potentially troubling point was that a dear colleage, knowledgable of my musical taste, was shocked that I would even considering going. My curiosity antlers were piqued.

The opening act, a soloist named Trevor Morgan, performed three original songs over a period of 15 minutes or so to get everyone warmed up. He seemed to be a talented guitarist with some vocal skills, but if pressed to choose, I'd give a nod to his guitar skills. Trevor was followed by a group known as Tenth Avenue No. Judging from crowd response, although relative young, they were evidently quite popular among those aware of their music. What struck me most about the second group as the volume. They were loud! After some 45 mintes of their musings, the concert took a break so the business of concerting (t-shirts, cd's, scholorship applications) could take place. My ears appreciated the pause. Eventually, the stars of the show, Third Day, came to the stage and performed at length to a very appreciative and receptive crowd. Not that I was really surprised, but I enjoyed the concert. Although I was not familiar with the music, the musicians were talented, the sound / mix was professionally done, and the performance was relaxed, God centered, and nicely delivered -- very glad I went.

Because this was my first Christian concert, I really had no basis for comparison against other concerts. Still, I had some opinions about what I observed. My first observation was obviously volume. The volume, in and of itself, was not a problem. The concert promoter is a church friend who graciously saved us seats in the VIP section - 4 rows from the stage -- 20 feet directly in front of the 8 foot tall speaker array. When the bass string was plucked everything in and on my body vibrated. In this respect, not really different from the old rock and roll days of the early 70s and I eagerly await the return of my hearing. The lyrics, for the most part were God centered and I really liked that. I was reminded though, during one of the songs, of a comment attributed to an unknown author some years back regarding contemporary Christian music. A song that can be sung to your dog, girlfriend, or God with equal compassion and enthusiasm is probably not a song written for the gospel. This was probably most evident in the Tenth Avenue No song "I'm Yours Tonight - Break Me Down", was seen as a Christian song, but only in that venue -- put into another setting, it could suggest something much more dark and secular -- maybe to the girlfriend. Highlighting that idea was the couple (married we think) sitting just in front of us. It's really hard to conceptualize how the gospel was fitting into what they were doing to the absolute dismay of their teenage daughter, but then again, I don't really know their heart. The other general observation had to do with the crowd. Those in attendance were a cross section of the polulation of this area. People of all ages (8 - 80), white, black, hispanic, and while it didn't come up in discussion, a variety of belief systems sat together in a celebration through music.

The musical charts and the sound of the bands is probably what I enjoyed the most though. The sound seemed to be a hybrid of a couple of 1970s rock bands, Uriah Heep and Deep Purple. The singers tended to push the upper limits of the vocal range for the most part. However, there were segments where the talents of the second tenor voice of the Third Day lead singer were really highlighted. Overall , the charts were well written and well played reflective of the talent of the performers.

At the end of the evening, I was left with a mixed opinion on the lyrics and the crowd, positive thoughts about the sound, and impressed by the commitment and talent of the musicians on stage. As we left, my thought wandered by to Philippians 1:18, But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice. Yes, and I will continue to rejoice... In many churches, the musical divide is more damaging to the body than disagreements over doctrine and understanding. There is really no justification for either side of that discussion. Tonight Christ was the center, everyone there knew that, and when all is said and done, that is all that really matters.

Stopped Just to Catch My Breath

The combination of an exisiting respiratory problem coupled with the effects of high altitude in the mountains and a beautiful day on which to ski set the stage for God to present a unique life lesson.

Looking for something to fill the 24 hour bus ride from my home to the ski resort in Crested Butte, CO, by change I picked up a copy of John Ortber's book, Everybody's Normal Till You Get to Know Them. The book turned out to be quite interesting as it explored the idea of community from a Godly perspective and how the idea of normal is little more than a metaphorical mask we used to keep people at a distance. The fact that we are all flawed is a problem we share and one we could do a much better job of managing through a little less"normal" and a little more acceptance of people "as is". Admittedly, I have often been hesitant to express my truest feelings even with people that know me pretty well opting instead for the facade of "normal". For a myriad of reasons ranging from "they have enough of their own stuff to deal with" to "they really don't care", I keep my problems to myself. It could be argued that I was the character described in the book - stoic and detached.

After what was a brisk 2 1/2 hours of skiing in truly pristine conditions in the morning, I found myself short of breath and seeemed unable to take in a full breath. Even taking a break for lunch at the Labrador and trying to force extra fluids, my body was not able to recover from the physical demands of the skiing. With a history of asthma making things even harder, breathing became so labored, the only option at my disposal was to sit down and try to wait things out. Even that didn't help. For one of the very few times in my life, my Albuteraol rescue inhaler seemed to be needed for a rescue and even that didn't work.

As I sat there gasping for air, the life lesson from the random book emerged as clearly as if the choice of the book was not really a random event at all. Starved for oxygen in the thin atmosphere and too weak to walk, I realized that I was in trouble and needed help. Seemingly from nowhere, people very dear to me took me by the arms and helped me to the hospital. They took care of storing my skis and then waited with me while I recovered at the hospital. Had they gone one about their own personal activites, I would have thought nothing less of them, this was my problem. Yet they didn't . They saw beyond my private facade of "normal" and for one of the few times in my life, I let them see and they helped. In so doing, they not only affirmed the value of their friendship, but they also helped live out the idea of a Godly community where we help, love, share, care, and give to each other.

Although tethered to this oxygen tank for the day and evening as my body recovers, it seems a very small price to pay to know just how much people really care about a person who is just "normal". A reminder that when we do things to the least of His children, we have done it unto Him. Thanks to you all.

The dollar in my Bible

Many months ago, our pastor came up with a novel idea to encourage our members to reach out and engage people. As a mechanism to set this idea in motion, one Sunday morning everyone who came into the church was given a single dollar bill to use in their own way to engage another person. The pastor asked only that each person send him an email and tell him how they used the dollar. To my knowledge we’ve never really heard how many emails he received. Although he received some, I must confess that have not sent that email yet. My dollar remains to this day in my Bible in the same state it was when it was given to me.

When I was handed the dollar bill on that Sunday morning, it was slipped in between the pages of my Bible while I considered how I might make best use of it. Quite honestly, I found it quite difficult to come up with an idea for one single dollar. However, it wasn’t long after that, I had opportunity to buy lunch and visit with some Muslim colleagues at school to discuss matters of faith. Of course, a dollar won’t buy lunch, so, I paid for the meal and just held on to the dollar. Then, soon after that I met someone who had run out of food and was out of work. We went to the grocery store and since the dollar wouldn’t cover the bill, after paying for the groceries, I kept my dollar in my Bible. Some weeks later, a hitch-hiker along the side of the road became my passenger. After a brief conversation, it became clear he was in a tough spot. The dollar wouldn’t do him any good either, but I was able to buy his lunch and slip him a twenty before dropping him off at the on-ramp to the interstate. Over the months, that dollar has become a tank of gas, a jacket, maternity clothing, a bed, and toys for children in need.

While I waited for that truly creative idea that would come to mind to celebrate in the use of my dollar, it never really came and I’ve stopped looking for it. What I found instead was opportunity after opportunity to aid and serve those whose needs are greater than mine. It is unlikely I will ever spend that dollar. Each time I open my Bible that "one dollar bookmark" stands as an ongoing reminder of needs to be filled and others to be served.

Thanksgiving 2009

Sitting alone, sipping coffee, and looking over the Internet headlines in the pre-dawn hours this Thanksgiving morning I am reminded of how quickly the year has passed to join the other unrecorded pages of history.

Marked by both high and low points, the year has given so many things for which to be thankful. In what is without question the high point of the year my first grandson arrived in January. Finding words to express the joyous feelings of that day elude me. I've likened the emotion to that of attempting to describe the color green - it simply must be experienced to be understood. I've been reminded of how quickly life changes as he learned to sit up, then crawl, and began to take his first exploratory steps. In the days that passed after his arrival my life has found a renewed since of meaning and purpose. It is something of an irony that an event which creates such joy occurs at a point in life where the finish line is closer than the starting gate. Still for the blessing of having him in my life, for his health, and for the happiness he has given me, I'm truly thankful.

2009 marked the third year of teaching in my church Life Group. The affirming support of this group of the friendships I've discovered over the past years is so very special. The challenges of trying to teach the weekly Bible study to a group that has studied the book longer than I have done are daunting. However, this has only inspired me to research more, pray more often, and work harder to bring something of value to them each week. Amid the kind remarks and many complimentary thoughts they have given to me, one truth stands out - for all they may think I've given them, they have given me so much more to be thankful for.

Even in the low points, there is still much to be thankful for. Although each of them faced personal trials during the year, my children are all now safe, working, and growing. The overwhelming life events that forced me to leave the doctoral program (for a while) opened the door to a new job has provided much needed income and security. The surgeries and health problems faced by my parents helped all of us to remember how precious and short the time we have together really is. Although an unfortunate meeting with a car tire forced me to end the life of my cat, for 20+ years he was an ongoing source of memories and mayhem. A 55th birthday reminded me of all the new and wonderful friends I've made in that past few years from all parts of the world and that there is still so much time left in which to enjoy life.

Even the simple things like shelter from the elements, a way to get from one place to another, food, clothing, and even the quiet peace that comes when watching a small bird begin its day sitting on the porch rail as the sun breaks over the horizon give pause to be thankful.

We are so blessed.

Adultery -- it's more than you think

Before starting, I'll concede this is probably an odd topic to consider writing about. What motivated me to research the idea and formulate a working definition came from three key places. The first was a divorce recovery group where I observed many people struggle with how best to understand the Bible's position on divorce. The second came from a colleague who was trying to help a friend understand the Bible's position on remarriage. Finally, because there may be a time when I'll consider remarriage, I wanted to get a clarification for my own purposes.

From a Biblical perspective, the idea of getting married again is not well addressed. However, the information in the scriptures details a limited scope of events in which remarriage is permitted. The background research and rationale for this is in a separate post. I mention it here not only because adultery is, from a biblical perspective, just cause for divorce, but also an event from which one can remarry and not sin.

In looking at what adultery is, it is essential to understand that we are commanded by God not to do it. In both accounts of the Ten Commandments, Exodus 20:14 and Deuteronomy 5:18, the same law is given: "You shall not commit adultery". The penalty for adultery set forth in Leviticus 20:10 is death. Given the severity of the penalty, it seems very important to understand exactly what one is not supposed to do. Continuing in that same passage in Leviticus 20:10-11, the scripture draws a unique contrast in sexual misconduct accompanying two events. In the first, a man has sexual relations outside of marriage with the wife of his neighbor and the Bible refers to the act as adultery. In this example, each of the participants is married to someone else. However, in the second event, a man sleeps with his father's wife, again outside of marriage. In the latter case he has dishonored his father, but the act is not called adultery although the penalty in each situation is the same - death. While the Bible differentiates between adultery and other similar acts of sexual misconducts, this passage fairly clearly defines what the sexual act of adultery is. Even in Nathaniel Hawthorne's classic, The Scarlet Letter, the view of adultery was framed in the very narrow scope of a physical act.

The Bible goes further though in addressing the topic of adultery. Jeremiah 3:8 cites a circumstance where God divorces Israel for her ‘adulteries’. In this case the 'adulteries' are collective term for various forms of idolatry practiced in Israel. This include the worship of stone carvings and wooden poles. These acts of idolatry are cited in numerous passages in the Old Testament often referred to in a general sense that the nation had done evil in the sight of God. As an aside here, it is implicit in this passage that adultery is a valid reason for divorce.

Then finally, in Matthew, adultery is taken beyond the physical boundaries of human activity and transferred to the heart. It quotes Jesus in chapter 5, (27)"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' (28) But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Clearly from this reading, there is no requirement to carry the lust of heart on to a physical act in order to violate the commandment.

In the final analysis adultery is arguably a broader definition that includes:

• A physical act between two people
• An emotional act of the heart (lust)
• The practice of idolatry against God

While this may define the scope of the act, the question that remains is what difference does it make to an individual. For many divorced people (and those contemplating divorce), the reasons permitted in the Bible for divorce are very constraining with adultery one of the few allowable reasons to vacate a marriage. People in marriages where the very narrow definition of adultery has not been violated can feel trapped between the desire to obey God's commandment and the need to live in a safe, loving environment. Idols abound within our culture (sports, gambling, drugs, alcohol, addictive behaviors) and at extreme levels, each can become an adulterous act. Because God hates divorce, He joined men and women together for once and always. It would seem reasonable then to expect there would not be an easy way to walk away from the commitment and this writing should not be misconstrued to endorse any form of adultery as an excuse for divorce. It is worth remembering that having the right to do something, does not carry with it the obligation to follow it through. But a full grasp as to the scope of adultery should provide some sense of comfort and understanding to those victimized by it.

A Little Tale About Faith

One beautiful fall afternoon, there was a man hiking in the mountains who slipped over the edge of a cliff. As he was falling, he reached out and grabbed a thick vine sticking out of the rocks. Gasping it tightly, he secured himself and realized he wasn't going to fall any further. As he hung there looking at the vine, he was able to see it that it was very strong, anchored securely, and would hold him for as long as he needed it to do so. Just to his left, though, he saw another smaller vine swaying back and forth in the wind. The smaller vine was not attached to anything that he could see and didn't look as strong as the one he held. So, he held on to the strong vine and waited for help. After some time he began to hear the rescue efforts above him and knew there was help coming. Unfortunately, he could not see them. Amid all the noise of the rescue effort and blowing winds, the rescuers could not see or hear him either. Eventually, he came to realize that holding on to the strong, secure vine would keep him safe, but would not change the situation he was in. After considering his options, he decided to take a chance and grab the smaller vine. Gently tugging on it to test it, he discovered it was attached to something up above and was secure enough to hold his weight. Slowly releasing his grip on the strong vine, he cautiously began to climb up the smaller vine. As he progressed up the vine, the rescue party was able to catch a glimpse of him. Immediately, they dropped strong ropes and rescuers came down to help him to safety.

While there are probably several morals one could take from the story, what I hope comes through is this, reaching new heights requires we release our grip on what we have and trust what we hear from above.

About the title line: A Time for Everything

It's from Ecclesiastes 3. The Byrds captured the spirit of much of the thought making it into a song back in the 1960's -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKHstR6ndus&feature=related.

Quoting from the NIV translation, the Bible passage goes like this:
1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: 2 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, 3 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, 4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, 5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, 6 a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, 7 a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, 8 a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. 9 What does the worker gain from his toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on men. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. 13 That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God. 14 I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him. 15 Whatever is has already been, and what will be has been before; and God will call the past to account.

Christians and Muslims

Over recent months, I've received an email several times about an Islamic prayer day scheduled for Washington DC in September 2009. The email, like much of the Internet rhetoric theses days, seems to border on hysteria, is based on very little fact, and seems more intended to discredit the faith and beliefs of the current President of the United States than anything else. My bottom line opinion about the event -- much ado about nothing. I've visited their website and to date they have 3 sponsors; all of them are from the local New Jersey area. I suspect this will look a lot like the Million Man March held some years back and will be sparsely attended. That said, there are some things about this that do concern me both from a religious and constitutional perspective.

What concerns me the most is the attitude so many Christians have taken toward people that need to hear about Jesus and eternal salvation offered through him. As a Christian nation we are ignoring the opportunity afforded us to witness to the Islamic nation. Rather than seeing these people as lost souls eternally separated from God, we are choosing to polarize along political boundaries, alienate them as a nation and as a people, essentially consigning them hell without regard to our commission to spread the gospel to all the world.

Further, there seems to be a tendency on the part of conservative Christians to shy away from and in some cases run from people of Muslim faith in fear. By so doing we essentially undermine the power we claim to have through Christ to overcome false teachings. I have dear friends from my days in academia that are Muslim who have witnessed my life as a Christian and commented on it. I've used that opportunity to open a small portal through which they might learn the truth. To shy away or rebuke them for what they have believed is wrong and counter to life's illustration given us by Jesus in dealing with the Samaritan woman at the well. Among perhaps my strongest beliefs to develop over the past years is this: we will never hate someone (including Muslims) to the cross and I affirm that without reservation or hesitancy.

The other significant concern has to do with how much of the Constitution we are willing to discard. While we were a nation founded primarily by groups seeking religious freedom from the Anglican Church of England, that is often oversimplified. It is important to note Roger Miller, one of our Baptist founders (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roger_Williams_(theologian), was so much at odds with other religious group he had to move to Rhode Island to find a place to worship as he saw appropriate. Additionally, the framers of the Constitution were so concerned that any religion should rise to a level where it became the 'official' church of the government, they provided for the separation of the two entities. If we, as Christians, expect to be free to exercise our faith without governmental oversight, then we are compelled to allow others to do the same.

For me, it comes to this, I want the freedom to speak the truth about Christ. If doing so allows another to speak against Him, then so be it; ultimately, through the power of Christ, my truth will prevail over their fallacies.

Even 2 out of 3 is still not enough

Over the past few days, an email has resurfaced encouraging all Americans to pray for the country. The oft cited text for a nation that has strayed from God is 2 Chronicles 7:14. That verse states,"If my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land." I would not challenge the need to pray and offer no argument against that, but it is going to take much more than that to fix the problems in this country. Even a cursory reading of the text clearly marks 3 steps that are required to gain forgiveness and healing from above.

The first is for people to humble themselves and pray. One need only look at the vast number of churches in this country and follow the trail of prayer warriors everywhere to see this happening. Yet, in spite of the efforts of the millions praying, nothing seems to improve. Why? The problems continue not because of what is being done, but rather from failing to embrace the other needed changes in order to find restoration at the hands of God. Note the second item is to seek God's face. In a nation obsessed with the pursuit of wealth, youth, and power, the 'seeking' takes place only for the betterment of the individual. Seeking his face would put each individual in the submissive and secondary role of 'loving a neighbor as ourselves'. In some places that occurs, but the abundance of hungry, homeless, tired, needy people suggests we have much more to do in seeking him. Then, finally, we are compelled to turn from our wicked ways. As a nation, we've chosen to seek out the 'legality' of what we do over the Biblical standards of moral propriety concerning what we should do. On demand abortion, homosexual marriages, and rampant sexual immorality permeate all levels society without regard to social class or standing extending through to the leaders both in and out of the church clearly showing the depths of wickedness to which we've fallen.

Change will come to America when, as a nation, we are willing to carry through the full calling of the gospel in obedience and love. We can not hide behind the veil of grace as protection from the sin we introduce into the world. Paul, in his letter to Corinth tells us,( 1 Corinthians 11:32)When we are judged by the Lord, we are being disciplined so that we will not be condemned with the world. In short, I believe America is under God's judgement and God's people are being disciplined by Him. Whether we will continue to survive as a nation will rest in how we finish the tasks set forth in 2 Chronicles to come out from under that judgement -- and 2 out of 3 won't be enough to protect us.